Post #5: Dog Heaven and Squirrel Hell

So there's this image on reddit:


And this actually makes perfect sense. Dog heaven would be squirrel hell. And since there isn't a an official canon story on where animal souls go after they die, this got me thinking about the faunal afterlife. Where do animals go after they die?

Here's what I think:
1. Dog heaven = squirrel hell = middle class white suburban homeowner heaven = cat people hell
2. Cat heaven = mouse hell = bird hell = dog people hell
3. Coyote heaven = dog hell = illegal Mexican immigrants purgatory
4. Koala heaven = koala hell
5. Fish heaven = landlubber hell = drowned victims hell

In fact, once we bring plants into this, because plants obviously have feelings, we get an even more complicated web:
1. Plant hell = vegan heaven = carnivore hell
2. Plant heaven = vegan hell = carnivore heaven (the carnivores will eat all of the herbivores in plant heaven, so both the carnivores and herbivores will be happy)

In conclusion: we should all eat more carnivores so that we'll have more carnivores to eat the vegans in vegan hell/plant heaven/carnivore heaven.

In fact, if you want some bear meals, here are some excellent bear recipes to get you started.

Happy hunting!

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